The Tale of the Killer Laundry Tub
One look at this decrepit cement laundry tub and you could feel doom and disaster emanating from it. The “best case scenario” flashes across your mind: It’s lasted for 95 years, maybe it will last another 20. The “worst case scenario” in you quickly counter punches: What if it falls off the wall? What if it falls off the wall at night or while on vacation and rips that old plumbing off the wall? Water gushing onto the floor as if a truck crashed into a fire hydrant; flooded basement, mold, insurance adjusters. Not to mention years of the “Good Stuff” you’ve been storing in the basement now has to be thrown out – so much stuff that you need to get a huge dumpster. As you stare at this agent of doom, tossing your lucky coin in the air, the logical voice smoothly enters your head: Maybe I should call Verne & Ellsworth Hann and have them replace this ticking plumbing time bomb. No more worrying at night or while away from the house. With the added bonus of an actual upgrade to the old basement. You keeping tossing your lucky coin into the air while all three voices in your head have a never ending senatorial debate that leaves your decision making paralyzed. Then it happens, your lucky coin bounces from your grasp and rolls under the decrepit cement laundry tub. You get down on your hands and knees and inch closer to the agent of doom becoming increasingly aware of the primordial scum growing under the tub. The coin has rolled all the way to the wall. But this is your lucky coin we’re talking about, the one handed down from your grandfather by his grandfather. You can’t allow it to disintegrate in the Chernobyl like goo. On your belly now, inching closer. Your fingers can feel it.
And at that critical moment, the last rusted leg gives way and the cement tub crashes down on your back, pinning you face first in the Paleozoic scum. The immense weight crushing your shoulders, ribs and head. Your breaths are short. Your life flashes before you.
Fortunately, you were in week six of your Human Growth Hormone replacement program. First with your forearms, then with your hands, you’re able to elevate the cement beast. Like Atlas with the weight of the world upon you, you’re able to extract yourself from certain death. And you have your lucky coin!
As you toss the cement tub off your back, the old galvanized plumbing lines break off the wall and both icy cold water and scolding hot water rinse the Chernobyl scum from your face and body. You’re on your knees, arms raised in the air, and like Marlon Brando in “A Streetcar Named Desire” calling for Stella, you start screaming: Call Verne & Ellsworth Hann! Call Verne & Ellsworth Hann! 216-932-9755. They come out and solve your plumbing apocalypse.
Good thing you had that lucky coin.
Life is a dream.
- George O.( Cleveland Heights, Boiler Installation, January 2018 )
Your company did an excellent job! We really appreciated how quickly your crew worked in order to get our heat back on as soon as possible. Everyone seemed very knowledgeable, professional and excellent in their work!
- Marianne P.( Aurora, Boiler Installation, December 2017 )
Thank you thank you! For your amazing response and difficult repair – I really appreciate it!
- Brian B.( Shaker Heights, Boiler Installation, January 2018 )
Bill carefully examined the old boiler and piping, checked all the radiators and came up with a replacement proposal. He explained two issues with the old boiler that other contractors did not notice or did not care to explain. The first was what’s causing the rust in the boiler and how he was going to minimize the issue in the new system. The second was how he would re-pipe the kitchen loop so the kitchen wouldn’t be so cold. Bill addressed each and every question I had. Although we received four bids that were comparable, we chose Bill Hann’s company because he was knowledgeable, thoughtful and detailed. The work was completed in two days by a great installer team. They were on time, professional and courteous. The new boiler and piping work nicely without any issues and we now have a comfortable kitchen to dine in. I’d highly recommend them.
- Allen P.( Shaker Heights, Boiler Installation, December 2017 )
I strongly recommend Verne & Ellsworth Hann without reservation. Choosing the right boiler was important and proper installation was critical. I was impressed with all aspects of the Verne & Ellsworth Hann organization. Most importantly, Bill Hann earned my trust. The installation team was excellent. They were experienced. They arrived precisely on time every day. They explained every step of the process. They worked as a team. They treated my home with extreme care, as if it was their own. The installation is a thing of beauty. Every time I go into my basement I smile. I now have a reliable, efficient system. I don’t usually take the time to write recommendations, but in this case I am doing so because it is so well deserved.
- John R.( Cleveland Heights, Boiler Installation, December 2017 )
Boiler has performed like a champ! Install is neat and clean. Instructions for next 3 months have been followed. New stat works well!